October 19, 2009

Today, as I do once a month, I got ready to sample the water in Four Mile Run. After collecting my equipment I coaxed my 14 year old Corgi, Dazzle, out to the car. She was reluctant to leave her warm corner. Her hips are stiff and weak and don't always hold her upright. We had to build a ramp from the back door step as she wouldn't stop hopping down, and crashing into the the ground and smashing her chin. I scooped her up and deposited her in the floor well behind the driver's seat. She used to settle in there, tucking her tail around her, so it wouldn't get caught in the door, resting her chin on the bump in the bump in the floor. I thought she was so smart. Now she barely knows who she is. She used to be delighted with a car ride knowing that we only put her in the car to go somewhere good, with water, and trails and lots of good smells. When the car slowed to a stop she would hop on the back seat, circle around, then hop back down ,over and over again, no matter how hard I tried to train her to wait. I never succeeded in training her, time did that. Now she whimpers softly and I can tell she is unhappy but I'm not sure why. I suspect she wants to "go", even though we already took care of that. I wonder will she wait or has she declined so far that she will soil her space in the car.
As I drive down to the stream, I wonder is this the last trip? As little as 6 months ago she still went on long distance road trips. She loved to sleep in the big van, as we cruised on down the highway. At the rest stop it was clear that she enjoyed the novelty of place. New smells, new smells! That phase had lasted a year or so as it coincided with my need to make frequent visits to my mother who lived in upstate NY. Now it is clear the time of extended car trips with Dazzle is over. This short trip is more than enough. I scoop her out and deposit her gently on the ground. She rallies enough to take care of business, explore a few feet and then makes it clear she is done. She wants back in the car where she feels safe.

September 22, 2009

On a recent visit to my 84 year old mother I was distressed to see that she had food stains on the front of her dress. She takes pride in her appearance, dressing with an eye to color and style, carefully choosing jewelry to enhance her outfit, so I knew this was because she was unaware and not because she didn't care. Her eyesight is not as sharp nor her fingers are as nimble as in days gone by. I've also noticed that when we share a meal together food tends to stick to her lip, or a crumb will adhere to her chin for the duration of the meal. This I can point out and she can take care of it with a napkin. I wonder is this a benchmark of advancing age?

The next day I was giving my daughter a ride to work and since I had missed lunch I was munching on an apple while driving a manual shift car. It was a good apple, crisp, juicy and inevitably my hand got a little sticky and I was uncomfortably aware that I was transferring apple juice to the shift lever. When I got home I found that wasn't the only thing to get sticky. My fresh white T shirt had light yellow spots down the front. Food stains! If I pay attention when I do laundry I can probably return my white T shirt to its pristine condition. But how many shirts have I spoiled by drinking coffee or black tea while driving? Do I notice when I toss one on?

I may not be able to reverse the aging process as it softens my jawline, thickens my waistline and deprives my skin of elasticity but I can go back to eating and drinking in a civilized fashion.

I often eat lunch and breakfast by myself and I am addicted to reading. Yet it is, I have found, rather messy to eat while reading. The book has to be maintained in an open position with one hand, the newspaper if not folded very carefully tends to be too far away from the plate. As for driving while drinking coffee well who doesn't? The results are not pleasant. Butter smears, tomato sauce splashes, ice cream splodges all decorated with indelible coffee drips. It only takes one drop of coffee to convert a sexy little T to an old-lady top. So I ask myself am I dining or merely stuffing my face?

September 20, 2009

I never had to fuss about my eyebrows. Fair skinned with dirty blond/mousy brown hair my eyebrows were just there. No uni-brow to worry about. I focused on my eyelashes using mascara to draw attention to my blue eyes, my best feature or so I thought. Now, however, I have lines around my eyes, incipient eye bags and mascara just doesn't enhance the way it used to. So I turned to my eyebrows to bring my face back into focus. And found they were migrating! There are no strays to pluck. There are only strays. There are long springy black hairs shooting up and out that seem to be eyelashes emerging from the wrong place. There are little short hairs growing backwards. There is it seems, a general rebellion in the ranks as the brow hairs spread out and meander around no longer deigning to lie together in an orderly brow like fashion. What to do? I stroke on some eyebrow powder attempting to create a delicate arch. Oh dear! Now my left brow arches nicely, but the right one is stubbornly straight and thick and distinctly lower than the right. A curve on the left, a deep frown line above my nose and a dash on the right. I have created a punctuation mark on my face ~/-

I decide my face has character.

I am interesting .............and old.